4 Months

When do you think you should stop checking in on your freshly postpartum friend? After month 1? Month 2? Month 37? Do they Really need someone to check in when they've had a handful of months to get their lives together with the new addition to their family?

I've honestly never thought about checking in on a mom friend once she was back to work or past that magical 6-12 week postpartum stage. Does that mean I'm a bad friend?

Lots of questions, and honestly, no concrete answer. However, I will share my own experience as a strong-willed, independent, health professional, mom.

Looking back to after my second kiddo, I'd say I was drowning but had no clue until I ended up in the hospital 7 months pp (postpartum). Would I have admitted I was if an acquaintance asked? Pssht, no. But, if a close friend asked seeking to look beyond my façade....I may have been more truthful with her. I learned a lot about postpartum after my second kiddo.

So, here I am today, 6 months pp from the birth of my third son. How am I doing today? I'm sane and mentally fatigued all at the same time. But, I'm so much better than I was after my 2nd child. Why? I'm being more honest with myself, listening to my body, and reaching out to a select few I can be scantly vulnerable with.

Do people still ask how I'm doing? Sort of. Mostly checking in on my adorable baby, which I don't mind because it takes the interrogation light off me.

4 months.

4 months is when I had hit a wall of physical, emotional, spiritual, mental exhaustion this last pp when I needed someone to check in on me. Like legit, make me use real emotional words. I recognized the feeling because I was looking for it. And because I was looking for it, I took a deep breath and texted my bff (who happens to be much better at all the feels than I am). After months of interrupted sleep, starting back at work, pumping, nursing, and feeding the other 2 bottomless pits in my home, I needed a soundboard I could word vomit the things I don't like to say so I could get it out. Once out, I amazingly felt more ready to move forward from a stronger stance.

I may be tired today, but that one check in for me around 4 months pp helped me stop a downward spiral that could've sent me drowning again.

And my bestie continues to check in on me, even from 281 miles away

So, if you have a close friend who's a new mom (or with children of any age really), and you feel like you should check in to see how she's doing. Do it. You'll never regret it.

And they'll never forget it.